JUMPING DOGS!!

Collecting Bodily Samples

One of my hobbies for nearly twenty years has been collecting bodily oozes from the stars. Let me explain. My first was a sweat stained hankerchief discarded by Robert plant of Led Zeppelin collected at Wembley in 1972, it is blue and yellow and still smells of Robert 34 years later. My latest is a tissue with lipstick on it, I found in a bin outside of Danni Minogues London flat earlier this year. It is hard to know my favorite, I still treasure a badly chewed hat rescued from a guard dog owned by Elton John, and several spit stained bottles I collected at a Sex Pistols concert (Sheffield 1978) but I aso love my moderner stuff such as panties that used to belong to The Cheeky Girls and a reed I got from Jamie Cullum when he was looking in the other direction. I have a sock – heavily stained – from Tom Cruise and sweatband from Bond star Daniel Craig. The list is endless e.g. a lipstick kiss from Princess Diana! What do you think of my hobby – do you have any things like this to send me? My Bridport bedsit, opposite the Euro-abattoir at number 14 Bhuna Street will be the most visited place in the county of Devon for memorabilia and star memories! Stars do not often visit this town themselves – especially not after dark – so my Photo of Johnny Morris emerging from the toilets in Beach Road (since demolished) and the used loo paper I was able to collect (there are many uses for a coat hanger) are a unique memory!!

My Hobby I Becoming A millionaire!!

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Room not Romm

I accidentally wrote “Romm” instead of “room” and you might have thought I meant to write “Rome” – obviously this would have been v.confusing so I am glad to set the record straight!!

In Your Dog Basket

I will be busy here updating on what I do when I stay home and my many interesting hobbies, my efforts to become an internet millionaire with the help of many on line friends like Cody Moya and Bobby Griffin and the view of Bridport (In Devon) from my small and slightly grimy window.  The looming shape of the Euro-abattoir (Europes largest), the howling and barking of feral dogs, the angry shouts of the persecuted Kosovans and over all hanging like a smokey electric blanket (note to self –  must find mine now nights getting cold!) the electric purple haze of grime and steam from the Beetroot Plant (where I work) that is the modern sky of the UK. My bedsit with its many collections may seem a strange place to christen “Bridports City of Dreams” and it is not a City – but “Bridports Romm of Dreams” it certainly is and likely to become a tourist attraction soon if my many get rich quick schemes work!

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